My son was four the first time we attempted a “real” vacation.” We lasted exactly 47 minutes in the airport before a full meltdown over the sound of the intercom. We turned around, went home, and I cried in the car. If you’re reading this, you might know that feeling all too well.
Fast-forward eight years: we’ve now flown internationally, road-tripped across three countries, stayed in hotels, Airbnbs, and even camped. It’s still hard — sometimes really hard — but it’s also brought us some of our family’s happiest memories. Here’s everything I wish someone had told me when I thought travel with an autistic child was impossible.
1. Start with Mindset: This Trip Is for Your Child Too
We often fall into the trap of thinking vacations have to look “typical.” Let go of that. Your goal isn’t Instagram-perfect photos; it’s creating positive experiences your child can tolerate (and maybe even enjoy). A “successful” trip might mean your kid happily watched planes at the airport gate for three hours while eating the same snack pack on repeat. That still counts.
2. Preparation Is 90 % of the Battle
Autistic kids thrive on predictability. Give them as much as humanly possible.
- Social Stories & Visual Schedules
Write or buy a simple social story: “We are going on an airplane. First we check bags. Then we go through security…” Include photos of the actual airport, hotel, etc. We use the app “Stories About Me” or just make PowerPoint slides.
- Video Priming
Watch YouTube videos of your child already likes that happen to show airports, trains, hotels, pools, etc. There are also great “airport rehearsal” tours on YouTube filmed from a kid’s height.
- Airport Practice Runs
Many airports offer rehearsal programs for families with disabilities (TSA Cares in the US, Sunflower Lanyard programs internationally). Even without an official tour, we’ve driven to the airport just to watch planes and eat french fries in the food court — zero pressure.
- Pack the “Regulation Kit”
Noise-canceling headphones, chewies, fidget toys, weighted lap pad, favorite blanket that smells like home, tablet with offline downloads, backup charger, extra clothes (meltdowns + sensory overload = accidents sometimes).
3. Choosing Autism-Friendly Destinations & Accommodations
You don’t have to start with Disney (though many autistic families love it because of their excellent disability program). Some of our easiest trips have been:
- All-Inclusive Resorts in Mexico & the Caribbean
Quiet pools in the morning, kids’ club staff who don’t mind repetitive play, buffet = same foods available every meal.
Certified Autism Centers
- Morgan’s Wonderland (Texas)
- Beaches Resorts (Turks & Caicos, Jamaica) — IBCCES Certified Autism Certified with 1:1 Sesame Street buddies
- Many Legolands, SeaWorld parks, and aquariums now have sensory-friendly hours and quiet rooms.
Vacation Rentals over Hotels
A kitchen means safe foods. A separate bedroom means you’re not tiptoeing at 8 p.m. when your kid finally asleep. Bonus points for fenced yards or ground-floor units (elopement concerns).
4. Transportation Hacks That Actually Work
Airplanes
- Request pre-boarding and a bulkhead seat if possible.
- Bring a doctor’s note for medical liquids (liquid meds, pouches, etc.).
- Ask for a “meet and assist” or wheelchair tag — even if your child walks — because staff will escort you through shorter lines.
- iPad + noise-canceling headphones + window shade down = magic on long flights.
Road Trips
The gold standard for many of us. You control stops, snacks, music volume, and can pull over instantly for a sensory break. We keep a portable potty and changing pad in the trunk until age 10 — worth it.
Trains
Europe and parts of Asia have fantastic trains with quiet cars and family compartments. Amtrak in the US now has quiet cars too.
5. The Daily Rhythm That Saves Us
We follow the “2-1-1 Rule” on vacation:
- 2 hours of a structured or highly preferred activity (water park, aquarium, Minecraft museum, whatever lights your kid up)
- 1 hour of downtime in the room (tablet, swinging in a travel sensory swing from the doorframe, bath with bath bombs)
- 1 hour of something new or mildly challenging (short nature walk, trying the kids’ club for 15 minutes)
Repeat. Leave the park at noon when it gets crowded. Eat dinner at 4:30 p.m. if that’s fine.
6. Meltdowns Happen — Have a Plan, Not Shame
Public meltdowns are the #1 reason families stop traveling. Reframe: a meltdown is communication that the environment has exceeded your child’s capacity. Your job is to help them regulate and exit gracefully.
- Scout “quiet spots” the minute you arrive anywhere (a bench behind a building, a family restroom, the car).
- Use a simple phrase like “time to reset” so your child learns it means safety, not punishment.
- Noise-canceling headphones + a tight hug or weighted blanket in the stroller often shortens duration dramatically.
7. The Unexpected Gifts
Here’s what no one told me: travel has been one of the best therapies we’ve ever done. My nonverbal son learned to order ice cream in Spanish because the visual menu was clear. Waiting in a short museum line taught turn-taking better than years of ABA. Exposure to new sensory experiences (ocean waves, hotel echoey bathrooms) eventually reduced his sound sensitivities.
Final Thought
You don’t have to love every minute. Some days you’ll sit in the hotel hallway eating cold fries while your child spins in circles, and that’s okay. But one day you’ll look over and see them laughing under waterfall lights at an aquarium, wearing the same shark shirt they’ve worn for four days straight, and you’ll realize: we did it. We’re here. And it was worth it.
Start small. A night at a local hotel with a pool. A day trip two hours away. Build those success memories. The world is big and loud and bright, but there’s space in it for our kids too — we just carve it out one careful, loving step at a time.
Safe travels,
A fellow autism parent who now packs chew necklaces next to passports without batting an eye. ❤️